Age 20

I see you every day, and I want to look away.
Come back, where do you think you’re going is what you always say.

I see you every day, and you always promise truth.
But here I am in front of you, nothing but lies produced.

I see you every day, and nothing seems to change.
I look right at you, and my heart fills up with rage.

I see you every day, something never feels right.
Why do you have this hold on me, no matter how hard I fight?

I see you every day, and here we are again.
You’re always quick to point out my knobby little butt chin.

I see you every day, and always end up froze
As you remind me that I have a crooked nose.

I see you every day, dreams reaching toward the sky.
But here they come crashing down as you point out my eyes.

I see you every day, and always let you win.
Why must you always mention this uneven skin.

I see you every day, with joy in my soul.
Until quietly you whisper, cover-up that mole.

I see you every day, but today it’s not the same.
I’ve realized something beautiful; maybe you’re not to blame.

I see you every day, but now I know who’s at fault.
I’m the one who fills you with all these mean insults.

I see you every day, the mirror in my room.
You only reflect this self-hatred by which I am consumed.

I see you every day, but today I look away.
Because I’ve found my inner beauty.
And it is here to stay.

Age 22

What do I see? I see imperfections. I see flaws. I do not see me - not the real me. I see and feel ugly. I feel powerless to stop the self-loathing and negativity my reflection invokes.

I started puberty at fourteen and ever since then I have hated myself. All I want to be is beautiful. I want to have the body of my dreams - toned, slim, healthy. But when I look in the mirror I see myself, my reflection, and I'm instantly depressed.

I have to hold back tears. I have to hold my head high and pretend that I am a drop-dead gorgeous woman when I don't feel gorgeous. My facade is good. People don't see through it. My armor impervious to the scrutiny of others, but underneath that armor I'm the same.

Fat. Ugly. Imperfect.