I was sitting on the couch when my mother came in for some “small talk.”  She told me I should lose weight.  She told me I didn’t look good.  That was 13 years ago, although it feels like just yesterday.  I can still feel the tears streaming down my face.  I just sat there as she spoke those words…and after she left the room, I silently cried.  I didn’t speak up.  I didn’t question her warped perception of beauty.  I just sat there…wishing I could disappear.  At the time, I was a healthy, average-sized teenage girl.  I was happy.
 I have been tormented ever since – consumed by thoughts of food and weight…and trying to be perfect.  Wanting to be loved.
I still wish I could disappear.