Age 23

I've always been the fat kid. Growing up, I never had a boyfriend. I still have never had a boyfriend. I was constantly made fun of. I can still remember sitting on the gym floor, watching every other kid get picked in PE. But I was always last...no one wanted me. I was never told I was beautiful, not even by my parents. I never go shopping with friends. No one else shops at the plus-size stores like me. When I walk into "normal people stores," I can feel the stares, wondering why I even walked in. I'm used to the stares, the jeers, the feeling I'm a freak. Little kids stare, their parents do nothing about it. When will I stop feeling like a freak? When will I feel beautiful? When I lose weight? When I die and am no more? When will people see the real me, the me that is just wanting to bust out in all it's wonderful glory?

Age 17

My mom is and was always very beautiful. She modeled and had men falling over themselves for her. When she had me...she had no clue what to do. I was the opposite. Physically, I am not pretty or attractive. I'm on the cusp between "normal" sizes and "plus sizes," a size 12. I hate my physical appearance, when I look in the mirror I see a monster. Sometimes when I am talking to someone and I can tell that they are closely looking at my face I will look away or down because I'm afraid that if they look too close then they will see that I am even uglier up close. In some ways, being ugly has helped me to have to cultivate a personality and a good sense of humor. In other ways, it has destroyed my spirit. I have been, and still am, trying to reconcile myself to the simple fact that though I am not physically beautiful, my spirit and personality can shine through and possibly soften the rough edges of my outward appearance.

Age 31

Growing up, I was made to hate myself for being fat because everyone else hated me for being fat. It was the absolute worst thing that anyone could be. It lead to depression and several suicide attempts. I tried to kill myself because I'm fat. Three years ago I started reading fat-positive blogs and websites that taught me that I am not ugly or a bad person or disliked by everyone. Last summer I met a man who praised me for being fat, who loves large women and tells me all the time that I'm beautiful, and he actually means it. After 31 years, I finally feel beautiful. I walk with my head held high, full of confidence. I'm no longer afraid to call myself fat instead of using some kinder euphemism like curvy or plus-sized. Being a size 28 is just something I am, along with a woman, college graduate, nerd, redhead.

Being fat is not the worst thing that could happen to you. Hating yourself because of how you look is.

Age 23

I wish there were someone I could ask, who I trusted to give me an honest answer, whether I look "normal" or "fat." I know better than to truly trust myself on that subject - after several years of struggling with disordered eating, I've finally reached the point where my eating patterns are mostly healthy and my weight is stable (at a place my body seems to like). But I look in the mirror and see myself as no smaller than I was 30 pounds ago. That can't be right. But there are few people I'd even want to tell that much about my body image issues to, and anyone who I would tell, I would also expect to say "normal" even if they don't mean it, just to make me feel better. Even if my current size is considered "fat," I wouldn't try to change it right now. If the point where my body and mind are healthy is "fat," so be it. But when someone talks about fat people, am I one of the people they're talking about? I'd just like to know.

Age 17

Five years and counting. I have struggled through eating disorders, anxiety, cutting, fear, depression. I have been better for the past year or two to where I can function normally. The thing that scares me now is the fact that I still have to struggle with these things for the rest of my life. I just want it to go away...

Age 48

I am a plus size woman who lives in Brooklyn. I am 48 years old and don't believe a woman has to be a size 2 to be beautiful. I am a size 18 and proud of who I am. Strong and confident.

Age 17

I came across this website and was really moved by the words of the 18 year old ED-NOS girl. Those words could have been written by me. Our stories seem very similar. I struggle daily and look at food as my enemy. I worry about my weight constantly. But I suffer in silence because I don’t think others will understand. My case is not “severe” so I never looked to get help. Reading her words shows me I am not alone and I don’t need to fear seeking help. Thank you for sharing.

Age 30

I stumbled upon this website and starting reading some of the thoughtful submissions, and was compelled to add my insight. I am a highly educated 30 year old doctor who has been in a constant battle to accept my body for over 12 years. My accomplishments are plenty, but at night I torture myself about the superficial external qualities others see. Let me add that I am 5'4" and 105 lbs - obviously distorted thinking on my part. The first time I recognized my distorted thinking is when I witnessed my younger sister (19 yrs young in college) battling the same demons. I could not understand how such an athletic, beautiful, smart person could even fathom being outside the normal perception of beauty. It touched me more than any insult could have every struck me, and I realized that this distorted thinking can reek havoc on the best people around. I ask anyone at this site (who is probably battling like issues) to attempt to step back and look at the bigger picture, and try to understand that life is too short to hold yourself to standards that are not healthy. I guarantee you that once you hit your unrealistic goal, you will not be happy and only up the anti. Your body deserves better, as do the future offspring you hope to produce.

Enough said - please take care of yourselves, as your body deserves it.

Age 43 (7 At Heart!)

When I look in the mirror, what do I see? An essence of pure love and light that is created of me. I seek to find the contours of my face, then the vibrancy and energy adorns me in lace. I notice the outlines, a bit fragmented at times, and realize that age has defined more than lines. My beauty is deep and flows from my heart. In laughter and crying my eyes never dart. From the radiance that shines inside of me. The glow, I realize, not only I can see. The power of love that has held me so dear. The love that has cradled me close through the years. The years that were hard to watch as my sister withered and died. Afraid to eat. Afraid to shine. She hid in her binges and purged all the time. Out of her came a peaceful, kind, sweet dove. Her memory I hold dear in my heart. Our friendship we shared will never part. I close my eyes and realize inside. Is the place that we live and can never hide. That place is pure love. Pure creation and joy. Born in this world for each boy and girl. We each hold the key to realize our truth. We each are beautiful in creation even through our youth. Learn to love who we are and grow strong inside. Learn to accept the little things that we may mind. Learn to see what others may miss. True love is the way to undying bliss.

We are all born perfect. In our perfection we must learn to honor our SELVES and accept that those who attempt to harm our selves are not worthy of our time or love. Love is the answer to a life long acceptance of oneself. Please, take time to learn to love.

Age 18

I've struggled with an eating disorder for three years now, but as an ED-NOS girl, I refuse to seek help because I feel that my eating disorder isn't as important as others and I will be seen as an attention-seeking person. I feel like, because I have a normal BMI, I do not have a serious affliction. I'd give anything to not care about my weight anymore.