Friday, March 21, 2008

Age 31

Growing up, I was made to hate myself for being fat because everyone else hated me for being fat. It was the absolute worst thing that anyone could be. It lead to depression and several suicide attempts. I tried to kill myself because I'm fat. Three years ago I started reading fat-positive blogs and websites that taught me that I am not ugly or a bad person or disliked by everyone. Last summer I met a man who praised me for being fat, who loves large women and tells me all the time that I'm beautiful, and he actually means it. After 31 years, I finally feel beautiful. I walk with my head held high, full of confidence. I'm no longer afraid to call myself fat instead of using some kinder euphemism like curvy or plus-sized. Being a size 28 is just something I am, along with a woman, college graduate, nerd, redhead.

Being fat is not the worst thing that could happen to you. Hating yourself because of how you look is.