Sunday, March 23, 2008

Age 23

I'm short and stumpy - those are the two words that I think of when I look in the mirror. I'm 105lbs, most people say I'm not fat at all...but it doesn't change the fact that when I look in the mirror I see all the things that could do with improving. The flabby arms, disgusting stomach, the flubberry butt. I don't know what to do. I've tried so hard through other achievements to forget about it - I have a degree, I can teach piano, I love drawing, reading, writing, I used to swim to national level. I go to charity stores to do my shopping, I love cooking and I have a wonderful husband - but there are times when NOTHING feels so good as when someone comments on how skinny I am, or how thin I've become, or when that cursed weighing machine informs me that I've lost 0.5lbs. I just WANT to be thin. Every time I see a magazine cover, or a candid photograph or even some of my best friends, I feel incredible jealousy. How can that be right? I wish someone could help me.