Friday, May 2, 2008

Age 64

I am 64 years old and from a very early age decided that I was not going to focus on my physical image, but rather my mind! This decision has "saved" me! I was never "thin and beautiful" in high school, but as I perceive other women around me, I have ended up much younger than my peers, and much "better looking" than other women my age (and a lot younger). This "subject" will not disappear!!!! And has not been addressed adequately!!!!

I thank my genes for this...and most especially yoga and meditation! But more than this, I gave myself a gift of not focusing on my physical self...I had nothing to "lose" so to speak (in my mind)! I notice that many other women view themselves "nostalgically" as to the way they "used to look." And of course THE MEDIA!!!

This didn't affect the way I have viewed our culture...because I am a visual artist...a poet...and a writer. I have, as a woman, given a lot of ("obsessed") thought to this subject! I wrote in 1993 a play called: "When the Women Didn't Feel Pretty Anymore"

Which is STILL relevant!!!

From the "prologue"...

(A disembodied voice says from above...):

"And when will I love my body
it is still no temple to me
filled with my love
and at peace with my soul"

"And when WILL I love my body? This question and these thoughts have been with me for quite some time, almost long enough to make me feel haunted by them...knowing that my own body has never been completely loved by me. There has never been a moment in my life when I loved all of me, and every cell of my being knew it."

"I'm wondering now if I ever will feel totally at ease in my own skin, and if I shall ever luxuriate in my flesh as any natural animal would and does every day of its' life. I'm feeling that if I can't at last love my own body, then how can I fully love myself? And if I don't fully love myself, then how can I love others?"